Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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