Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
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I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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