East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
People in love make me want to vomit
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
