that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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