Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize