yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
