what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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