Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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