i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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