My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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