8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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