i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
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just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
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He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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