I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
