I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
