i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
