I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
two words: eviction party
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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