I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
