Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
only if we run a train.
done.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
