apparently the secret to your success is patron
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
