He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize