My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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