He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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