i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
