Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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