called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
