remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
