I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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