the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
