I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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