apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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