My liver just broke up with me...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
