i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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