i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
