I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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