Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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