A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
