Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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