she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?