Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.

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(817): View more from Texas

He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game

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(513): View more from Ohio

This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring

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(678): View more from Georgia

Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".

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