So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?