Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
