I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
