Umm I'm too high to move.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
