Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
