She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
