I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
