Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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