O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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