I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
