Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
