I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
