I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
