Say something about gay babies.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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