so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
