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FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We are two peas in an std pod
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
