I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
