Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
