so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
