so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
