Redeem this text for a blowjob
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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