I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
