We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
