i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
