i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
