my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
